Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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