i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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