did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
