I wish my penis had an off switch
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize