...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
