There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
