sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
