I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
