You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
