she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
