i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize