Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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