she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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