my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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