Pappa wants mamma naked
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The adults are the big ones right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
