Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
