you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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