if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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