what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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