ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize