If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
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My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
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He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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