You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize