at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
