So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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