my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
