Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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