So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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