nut hugger
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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