you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
