Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize