Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
