I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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