He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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