Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
