I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
