Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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