yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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