Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
