literally had 100 drinks last night.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize