honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
