I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I would ride that face into the sunset
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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