You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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