He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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