Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
