k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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