The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
