i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
