Four minutes until I can fart!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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