if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
