Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
