So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
