I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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