Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
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I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
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You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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