i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize