Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
