When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
