ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
