He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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