office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
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