Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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